Sunday, 1 November
It is 4am and I am still
awake. The front room is a mess but I can’t bring myself to tidy up or go to
bed. I am just lying on the floor with my laptop and pouring the events of the
day onto this blog. My precious blog. The meticulous record of the putrefaction
of my sanity and soul.
A few hours ago I put the
clock in the front room back for daylight saving time and as I wound the clock
and watched the minutes unwind I honestly felt like I was artificially erasing
the time. And in doing so I was erasing my past. One full hour for one full
year. It feels as though time has stood still and the world is waiting for me
to act before it can progress to the next hour, the next minute, the next
second. The sense of anticipation is unbearable but I do not understand what I
am expected to do.
I am grateful that I have you, dear void, to ramble into because if I voiced
recent events to my family or friends then they would think that I am insane.
And yet there is so much that I have not told you. I realise now that I should
have been less cautious with these blog posts because if you could see the
entire picture then you would appreciate why I am so shaken. I should write
about the stories that Luke has told me, particularly the mythical ones that he
has related to me time and time again. These stories are more deeply engrained
in me than the biblical passages that I have studied for years. I will give you
one example of these stories and you can judge for yourself whether I have good
reason to be concerned...
In the first days there were a number of divine spirits that were known
as ’those who are continually awake’ and these spirits were instructed by the
supreme gods to roam the black land and live alongside the first humans in
order to teach them how to develop, reproduce and thrive. These spirits grew
fond of humanity and they taught them many things, but when the humans in their
care began to age and die the spirits were horrified and they petitioned the
gods and begged them to bestow the gift of immortality upon humanity. Unfortunately
the gods rejected the spirits’ demands and they insisted that humans were naturally
sinful and therefore they must inhabit mortal bodies and live as lesser, imperfect
creatures.
Infuriated by what they considered to be the egotistical vanity of the
gods, the spirits sought to create a new, hybrid strain of humanity that was
resistant to aging and death and so they had relations with the women of the
earth during which the human and celestial lifeblood was combined. The first
born of this union were tall, powerful giants who transcended their humanity in
every way, but their unnatural appearance attracted the attention of the gods
and each one of these pure-borns was slaughtered. Seeing that the unusual
appearance of the pure-borns had angered the gods, the spirits realised that the
physical appearance of their human charges must remain unchanged and they could
not interfere with the ageing process, so they adjusted their approach and continued
their efforts by attempting to preserve the essence - the soul and intelligence
- of the individual and preventing it from being purged from the earth along
with the body after death.
The spirits began to impart their divine knowledge to their most-beloved
human charges and they taught them a number of magical techniques, all on the
understanding that these magicians kept their activities secret and they did
not attract the attention of the gods. Amongst these magical techniques was a
deification ritual that promised to immortalise the magician’s soul and protect
it from dissolution following the death of the physical body so that it could
be born again into a new mortal body, but unfortunately the magicians’ attempts
to perform these rituals were unsuccessful due to the inability of the human
body to accommodate and sustain a newly-restored immortal soul. The spirits understood
that the magicians must undergo significant physical advancements in order to prepare
them to be a vessel for an immortal soul and in order to achieve this another
synthesis of the human and divine must take place.
Since the first attempt to create a human-divine synthesis had such disastrous
consequences, the spirits chose to evade the notice of the gods by imparting their
divine essence through transmission rather than procreation and they sought to directly
infuse the physical bodies of the magicians with their celestial blood. The
blood of the spirits contained an intense concentration of the divine essence -
i.e. the vitalizing spark that gives us life - and although a small amount of
this divine essence could also be found in human blood, celestial blood
contained a highly concentrated quantity and it possessed life-giving and
healing properties that had a massively transformative effect upon the human
body. The presence of celestial blood within the human body was found to strengthen
the body sufficiently to withstand the process of deification and allow it to accommodate
an immortal soul and, most importantly, the transmission process did not result
in a change to the outward, physical appearance of the magician and therefore it
did not attract the attention of the gods.
Once the human body had been strengthened by celestial blood and the magician
had completed the necessary magical preparations, the magician then performed
the final stage of the deification ritual which involved removing himself from
the natural cycle of life and death, or ‘disrupting the heavenly design’. This
was achieved by removing the soul from the body before the allotted time of
death that was preordained by the gods, thereby tethering the magician’s soul
to the earth so that it would not ascend or descend in the natural way after
death (much in the same way that the Greek aoroi and biaiothanatoi were
created). Once this deification ritual had been completed, the magician’s soul
was considered to be truly immortal and his soul would be restored once again to
his physical body by the spiritual powers that were under his command and the
magician would continue to live a normal life. When the magician’s physical
body eventually expired – through old age, illness or injury - his immortal
soul would not dissolve into the soil of the earth or be subjected to the will
of the gods, but it remained fixed to the physical plane where it would be born
again into human flesh. The magician’s soul would be born into a new physical
body, but he retained his individual consciousness, memories and all the
knowledge that he had acquired in his former life and all the lives that had
gone before and this process of death-rebirth could be repeated ad infinitum until the magician’s
immortal soul had achieved a level of intellectual knowledge and spiritual
power that was equal to the gods.
The magicians who had successfully completed this ritual eventually
became self-sufficient and, under the watchful eye of the spirits, they began
to teach the deification techniques to others and share the celestial blood
amongst themselves. And there were a number of reasons for why this continual
transmission of knowledge and blood was essential for their survival. An
immortal soul was a heavy weight for the human body to sustain and the body would
naturally seek to reject it, therefore it was essential that the magician
maintained a high level of celestial blood in his system at all times to act as
an amniotic fluid to provide continual nourishment for the immortal soul. The magicians
who attempted to live without access to celestial blood suffered terribly and they
lived a wretched existence of poor health and infirmity. Some of them even
sought to placate their sufferings with the inferior divine essence that is found
in human blood and they became terrible monsters that thrived off humanity in
the worst possible way. Therefore, in order to ensure that a safe and readily-available
supply of the celestial blood was to-hand, the magicians established close
networks of individuals who studied the magical deification rituals together and
shared the blood amongst themselves. The magicians created these networks by identifying
individuals who were worthy of receiving the celestial blood and undergoing the
deification process and they would take these individuals under their wing and
mentor them in the same way that they were once instructed. The group would also
form a strong psychic bond that served to identify each other once they had
been reborn into a new body (an - often sickly - child would be ‘reawakened’ or
‘resurrected’ by a member of the network when they reached a suitable age and
their true identity would be restored to full consciousness).
Some of these immortal magicians still survive to this day and they are
hidden amongst us in the modern age. They continue to engage in the
transmission and educational process, they uphold the divine bloodline and
their faces change and their bodies age and die, but their immortal soul
endures, hiding from the heavens in a transient, human body. They are like skipping
stones on the face of the earth. These individuals are typically very
‘worldly-wise’ and keen to absorb information about the ever-changing world
around them, they usually have many skills and talents (they may, for example,
speak several languages or play several instruments), they live very much ‘for
the now’ and they do not care for possessions or long-term personal gain, they
have few friends and family and they do not fear death.
Many of these magicians choose solitary lives and they hide themselves
away in dead-end jobs so that they do not attract the attention of the gods,
but once in a while a particularly brave or ambitious immortal steps out of the
shadows and seeks to make a name for himself. One of these ambitious
individuals was a charismatic young magician known to us by the name of Jesus
Christ. Jesus intended to fulfil the vision of the divine spirits and free the
worthiest amongst us from the shackles of our mortality by showing us how to achieve
eternal life and transcend the curse of death that is meted out by the gods as
punishment for submitting to the desires of our human natures. He learned the
ancient techniques of deification and made the transition from man to god by
studying these magical deification rituals, achieving an authoritative command
over the spirits of the divine, the demonic and the dead and preparing his physical
body for the reception of his newly-immortal soul by engaging in a communal
exchange involving the reception and transmission of the celestial blood. Jesus
complied with the spirits’ warnings about attracting the attention of the gods
and he kept his exact methods secret, but he also disseminated his divine knowledge
to a close network of twelve novices who studied his teachings, learned how to
command the spirit world and shared in his special blood communion so that they
could nourish and support one another. The twelve went on to follow in Jesus’
footsteps and Jesus had successfully expanded his network to seventy
individuals by the time of his arrest, however it is not clear how many of the
seventy succeeded in carrying out the deification rituals and making the
necessary transition.
In order to achieve the immortalisation of his soul, Jesus overcame his
fears and doubts on the cross and he placed his trust in his absolute authority
over the spirit world and performed the ultimate show-death for the creation of
the most powerful biaiothanatos, after which his newly-reborn soul was restored
to his physical body in the tomb and he secured his place amongst the immortals
who walk on the earth and continue to do so to this day. The teacher who taught
Jesus these techniques and first shared the celestial blood with him was - as
many of the immortals continue to be - the silent man in the background of the
story who played the largest role. He is unnamed but he has many names. He was
greatly loved by Jesus, he stood by his side at all times and he was
responsible for restoring Jesus’ newly-immortal soul to his physical body in
the tomb. He was not an angel or a lover, as many believe him to be. And in
order to ensure that these teachings were widely disseminated and the network could
continue to grow, he recorded the events of Jesus’ life and wrote his own testimony
of events, his own instruction manual, his own The Omega Course...
There is so much more that Luke has taught me, but these are the basics
for now and I am in danger of revealing too much. I have questioned Luke’s
sanity many times and I came to the conclusion a few months ago that he is a
fantasist who has ensnared me in his fantasies because I am so unashamedly besotted
with him and I will do anything that he asks of me. But each time I make a
flippant comment about these stories or I tease him about our activities he is
quick to scold me and he insists that I take him seriously. This is clearly not
a game to him. And I cannot doubt that the words and rituals that he has taught
me are effective and I have experienced some significant changes to my physical
body as a result, so I am not sure where reality ends and fantasy begins
anymore. I’m sorry if I sound a little crazy but, reflecting upon today’s
events and everything that Luke has taught me to date, I’m starting to doubt whether
any of this originated in the overactive imagination of a dance student. I’m beginning
to wonder whether Luke’s stories are not fictitious whimsy but rather a
historical record of events and I have not been entertained with wild fantasies
but rather programmed with a set of very important instructions.
The implications of this are too immense for me to grasp at the moment,
but I know one thing for certain - if I could convince Luke to write these
stories down then the world would have itself a new Gospel.
